dont let go yet?
by Irlginnyweasley
Summary: a mildly fluffy attempt at exploring comforting touches. post CoG newtina.


**note: guys this is my first fanfic please be kind... also yeah ik theres not caps at the begining of sentences, im lazy its fine...**

Porpintina Goldstien was never one to seek comfort in touch. Maybe it was something to do with losing her parents so young, losing the caring touch of her mother. Maybe it was an association with comforting rather than receiving comfort, with being the rock wall that Queenies troubles and fears beat against. either way it did not trouble her much that touch wasn't part of what her sister called her 'love language'.

Theseus Scamander was a hugger, much to the chagrin of his younger brother. It's unclear if Theseus' insistence on physical affection has a connection to Newts distaste for it but either way Newt found little to no comfort in human touch. The touch of animals (magic or not) however was a constant comfort to him.

The first time Newt ever held the hand of a girl was in the depths of the MCUSA building while running for his life. it was nothing romantic in the slightest. but he had almost lost her a minute before and was determined to not do that again. it wasn't important whether it was because he had feelings for her at that point, or if he was scared, or if he needed her help.

after his trip to new york was over he would often try and remember the feeling of Tina's hand in his. though he could never quite conjure it, the ghost of Tina's touch was a haunting comfort to him in the lonely months he spent trying to return like he'd promised.

she could still feel Newts fingers brushing back her hair. oddly it had hurt her chest, in the best possible way. she hated for a long time to admit the effect even the memory of his touch had had on her, that it made her smile. that it had made her feel safe, important. yet in the months she wrote to him shed feel his touch every time his hand writing crossed her version.

but of course that one comforting touch was a fluke because Queenies hug, when the magazine picture came out, felt like nothing. even the touch of achilles lips, the one time she let him kiss her, hadn't made her feel as important as Newt had. she stopped accepting comforting contact for a long time after that, and returned to her dislike for touching others.

the hug Newt gave his brother in paris had been to comfort theseus. he knew it was the only way the other man would understand Newts compassion for letas loss. of course there was some relief for the younger brother in that hug as well, but a hug to comfort and a hug to be comforted are not the same thing.

Tina currently sat on the stairs leading into Newts basement, trying to control her sobs. shed held every single tear until she could be alone. above all things in life she prided herself on her strength, and openly crying in front of people did not fit into the rules shed set for that. so her she was, hiding as best she could, crying and clutching her own arms so tight her fingernails cut the skin above her elbows.

insomnia was a common companion for Newt, and tonight it's embrace shrouded him as never before. the only thing that might help, he knew, was to work. ideally he'd like to work on a plan for getting back the people Grindelwald had spirited away from them, but he had promised dumbledore that they'd not move until further notice. a dumb promise really. Credence was in danger, and if Grindelwald was half as cunning as Newt knew him to be, Credence was at risk to putting the whole magical world in danger. on top of that was Queenie. he promised himself he would get her back in one piece, because she was his friend, and because Tina needed her.

as he stepped through the door that lead from his kitchen to the basement stairs, a soft watery noise caught his attention. it might've been a creature but he doubted that very strongly. he continued forward slowly, wand ready and listening. as he neared the bottom landing his heart sank when the source of the sound came into view.

Tina.

when she heard the footsteps behind her she hastily wiped her face. it didn't help much she knew, there was no stopping the tears still coming silently.

she could feel him opening and closing his mouth. he wasn't good with words.

"s-sorry." Newt landed on with a whisper.

she didn't respond to his words. but scooted over a bit, to let him pass or invite him to sit she wasn't even sure.

after a pause his form materialised in her periphery, set on the step next to her. she wiped her eyes again and looked away from him.

they sat in silence for a long while as her tears continued despite she best attempts to damn them. her hands furiously trying to hide her weakness from him. suddenly Newts hand was in front of her, hold a faded brown handkerchief.

Tina hesitated before taking it, their fingers just brushing, before she dabbed at her eyes with some amount of success.

"Tina..." his voice was small but more solid and sure than she'd ever heard it. she looked at him, and saw tear stains on his cheeks as well. his hands were in his lap, he was picking at his fingers and a few of them were raw.

"im so sorry." he said.

she shook her head and reached out to touch his arm. she half expected him to flinch away but he just looked down at the point of contact.

he stared at her hand on his forearm. his mind slowed. he reach his hand to hers and gave it a small squeeze. he didn't let go.

"Tina. i-i... y-you..." he sighed. what would he say? nothing seemed enough.

"i know." her voice was so broken, and yet it reassured him in ways he didn't quite understand. he looks at her in wonder. in the moment he realised how relieved he was that she was here with him. it was incredibly selfish but he was glad that, of all the people lost to them, she was the one he still had beside him.

he moved his hand and shifted to face her better. his fingers barely grazing her skin as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. and wiped a new tear from her cheek with his thumb. she gave him a very small watery smile.

"we will get them back, Tina. i promise." he whispered before thinking it. he was cupping her face, so lost in her dark eyes he would have traded his soul to stop her tears.

his words triggered a new wave of tears and she fell forward to put her head on his shoulder. the smell and substance of him beside her was the only solid thing in the world. right now all she needed something solid, and if that something was Newt scamander it was even better.

for a minute or two he was tense against her. then with an exhausted sigh his arms wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her closer.

mercy lewis this is why people like hugs.

she cried on, in his embrace, until there was nothing left in her but emptiness and the smell of his basement.

Newt held her until he was sure her tears had stopped.he had also cried quietly but any evidence of that was drowned in her hair. after a long moment of peaceful silence he felt her look up at him.

"Newt?"

he started to pull away from her, only to be stopped by her fists tightening in his damp shirt. so he settled for shifting just enough to look down at her.

he hummed in response.

"do you think they are safe? i... i need them to be safe..." he was surprised how steady her voice sounded. still he stroked the back of her hair, hoping it would reassure her in some way.

he knew he needed to answer and sound sure, even if he wasn't.

Tina felt Newt take a deep breath. his hand was on her chin then gently urging her to meet his eye. they were wet and red the same as hers, and her heart skipped at how strongly he held her gaze. eye contact had never seemed like something that was easy for him.

"i..." he sighed and started again. "yes. yes i think they are... safe, most likely. he- Grindelwald needs Credence, we don't know why but we do know it. he won't risk Credences life for a while at least."

he paused. Credence wasn't in danger of being killed, he was sure. but safe and not dying are really the same. before Tina could ask anything else he spoke again.

"we have to- well just have to hope he's not... curru- manipulated irreversibly by time we get to him."

she nodded.

"Credence is desperate to know who he is, we won't have too long to act. i know dumbledore told you something of a plan, and we can come back to that. but there might not be enough time. And if your ministry sends a team after Grindelwald, both of them will be killed. he might protect Credence but que-"

"Queenie is to great an asset for him to lose. as long as she's- if she stays loyal to him Grindelwald won't waste a legilimens."

she nodded against his shoulder.

"but- bu- Tina. i meant it before. we will get them back. they'll be safe again, i promise."

the last word hung in the air around them, Newt felt a bit of apprehension. it wasn't really up to him, so many factors of this mess were not under his control. but in her way of seeming to always understand him, he knew she got his point.

a second or two after he finished Tina wrapped her arms around his neck properly. a real hug, to make herself feel safe and to acknowledge her gratitude for him being there. when his arms encircled her in return she let out a steady breath and squeezed harder.

"i'm so glad you're here..." she heard Newt breathe, certain it wasn't meant to be audible. but she responded anyway.

"and im glad im not alone."

"well figure this out Tina. t-together."

"together." she agreed.

Newt pulled out of the hug and smile softly at her. he had never been in contact with another human for this long; it surprised him that he wasn't uncomfortable. she took his hand a squeezed her thanks. they both looked at their feet, without breaking the touch. he anchored himself with it, she was the constant in an endless and dangerous changing world. she was here, she was real, and he never believed something as simple as holding her hand could ground him so well.

after another long while he remembered the original reason he'd entered the basement. so he moved to stand, releasing his grip on her hand reluctantly. but she didn't let go of his, instead she clutched it harder.

"i came down to check that everyone lasted while i was away..." he said calmly.

she looked into his eyes and found the man she admired most in them, the man that cared so much about those in his charge.

"i- um- you can come along if you'd like. id... id like your company." he said glancing at his feet.

she did her best to smile at him while rising to her feet beside him. still clutching his hand in both of hers.

"i'd like that, very much... just- just dont let go yet?" she asked. she lifted their hand a bit to show her point.

he nodded, looking a bit in a haze, and intertwined his fingers with hers.

"a tour then first." and with a squeeze of their joined hands he lead them onwards.


End file.
